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Self Confidence |
Self Help Tips (Home) > Self Confidence Self Confidence: Which Can Change Your LifeAnyone ever accuse you of having a lack of purpose and motivation, a lack of confidence, sadness and pessimism, a lack of assertiveness, self-put down game, the lack of wisdom and equality in selecting right peer groups? Then have you heard them say... that's what happens when your self-concept is poor and that of course is a major part of many human problems? Humans are the only animals gifted with the capacity that they may glorify themselves by believing they will spend eternity in heaven with God or, at the other extreme, they may denounce and hate themselves so much that they choose to end their lives. How we look at others and ourselves has a tremendous impact on self-acceptance, self-control, and acceptance of others. We may feel good about ourselves at one time but not feel the same way later. We keep changing our masks to suit the occasion. Our public self and private self is sometimes very different. Your self-concept largely reflects the culture you are brought up in, religious teachings, family tradition, or you can create a unique personality based on your own ideals. Did you know that despite your environment your strong likes and dislikes might as well be inherited? The universe of the mind is still a dark, vast, unexplored place. It mystifies us. Yet, it is a region of great promise. If we learn to develop our values, master basic principles, increase our self-awareness and motivation, we're well on our way to self-control or self-actualization. The foundation of great self-confidence lies in the foundation of our self concept. Fix that rather than to try to modify specific, isolated, overt behaviors and superficial emotions. In conjunction with understanding our real self, we need to sift out perceptions and choose those that are most applicable to us and who we are or want to be. Only we know who we are, what we intend to do and what we have done, what we have thought and felt, and what we have hoped for. Our self is a life-long accumulation of impressions. The idea here is to raise your self-concept if it is lower than warranted. By doing so it enables you to be happier and to achieve your potential... to be all that they can be. The goal isn't to just accept yourself, regardless of how you are behaving or feeling. More self-esteem is not necessarily better if it means becoming an egotistical snob or a prima donna. You're well on your way in understanding your self-concept by taking a reality check on yourself. Make an accurate self-assessment. Then recognize the internal critic and realize what pain the critic helps you avoid. Challenge the internal critic. Then use healthier ways of achieving the critic's purposes. Then next step up, understand and accept the things that can't be changed like your past and your permanent weaknesses. Remember you have the courage to change the things you can. Make a list of the ways you could improve. Write a list of your more important positive traits. Repeat them frequently with feeling. Develop a set of values and positive attitudes and live them. Never forget to learn to feel special and unique.
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