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Better Parenting
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Self Help Tips (Home) > Better Parenting > My Child Steals
Why does My Child Steal?
Does your child take things that do not belong to him? Does he have a problem - stealing?
Before figuring out ways to handle the problem, it is important to understand why your teenager is stealing at all.
Through studies conducted over the years, it has been found that, more often than not, teenagers steal because they're feeling unloved and unaccepted. A teenager who believes this about himself, often steals because he thinks he has the right to hurt others just as he has been hurt - he believes that no one cares for him. Called the 'revenge cycle' all the teen is doing is trying to make up for the pain he feels himself.
That's why it's so important that you ensure your child feels loved and cherished at all times. Let him know at all times, through words and through deeds, that he matters to the family and to you. The child is good; it's just that he has a problem, so ensure you don't club the doer and the deed as one.
There are a few other factors that could cause a teenager to steal. Given below are some of those factors and tips on how to deal with them.
- Your teenager could be stealing because that seems to be the only way he can get what he wants. Many parents, in an effort not to spoil their offspring, say 'no' too easily to any requests made. Watch to see if you are doing that. Obviously, you must not feel you have to give them everything they ask for every time. But it would work well if they could learn to earn, so they can afford some of the stuff they want. You could set up a system where they could take on chores and family responsibilities that would allow them to earn some money. Besides giving them a sense of responsibility, it would address the need to steal to get what they want.
- Do not leave money lying about. Very often teens pick up money lying out in the open because it is just too tempting not to. It's your responsibility to keep your money and valuables locked away in a safe place. It is not fair to tempt your child if you think he is likely to steal.
- If you have more than one child at home and you think that maybe, one of them is stealing from his sibling, then address the issue immediately by providing them separate lockers to protect their personal stuff.
- If your teenager is stealing from his brother or sister, it could be a result of jealousy. He may think you favor the other kid over him. Bring up the matter immediately with him. His feelings matter, listen attentively to what he says and then reassure him about how important he is to you. Do not dismiss his feelings; they're very real for him.
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